i have always had an age complex. for the most part i have hated being younger then everyone and despite my youthful appearance, have managed to hide or at least try and hide my age.
this has changed especially after the last year or so. finding it finally a complement when someone points out how young i look or i.d's me. i hope this continues cause i am now afraid of ageing.
now i'm not about to get plastic surgery but in efforts to maintain this appearance i bought anti wrinkle cream the other day. this was also a desperate move on my behalf so as i can continue tanning without sunscreen and hitting the fake n' baking once a week.
i went on holidays with my family last week. i was reminded that my one gramma, always being short, has shrunk (spines allll curled up) to a mere 4'10 and my other gramma had allapecia and wore wigs
soooo as jake would put it, i'm probably going to end up looking like a bald yoda when i get old sooo i'm not tooo stoked on it happening EVER!
i have gone from a girl who only wants to be around adults and couldn't wait to be an age where "it just doesn't matter anymore" and hated being reminded how little she was and i.d'd everywhere she went... to... "shiiit, every year i get older it means it's less acceptable to be a pot head wino with no ambitions in life, who's biggest joy is your cat and who each day is one step closer to looking like bald yoda"
and i have looked around my house, thinking, shit...i'm obsessed with youthful things.
i HATE the news (it makes me so angry to hear that 5 cops feared for their lives over a stapler and killed someone due to this fear)
i watch old cartoons while i try and fall asleep
i find showering more of an inconvenience then anything
i saved all my Disney movies from a kid and watch them when i'm sick
i collect kids books but have no intention of having my own..they're just for me
i love theme parks, haunted houses, rides..etc etc
i love doing blades and watching said cartoons and Disney movies and going to said theme parks and haunted houses
i taught myself how to hula hoop..recently
i love to play dress up
i'm still too wimpy to sip whiskey or dink anything hard
my favourite people i know make me laugh over farts, that's what she said jokes, bad humour etc
i dip my raisins in peanut butter
i collect nic nacs and salt n pepper shakers
i do take photo's on occasion but for the most part, my "art" is collaging
i make all important decisions rashly AND last minute
and after all this i STILL sorta have that age complex
so ya. PRETTY COOL. pretty sure i can't win in life cause i will ALWAYS be dissatisfied
+15 Part 3
1 year ago